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| Very funny jokes In Hindi |
ek ladki se kaha ,
Ek – sawal ka jawab
Do – Patna kahan hai ?
Ladki – Bihar me .
Boys – yahi pat jao itni dur jaane ki kya zarurat hai .
Wife – kitchen se aji sunte ho
aajkal mai khubsurat hoti ja rahi hue .
Husband – : tumne kaise jana
Wife :- aaj kal meri khubsurti dekhkar rotiyan bhi jalne lagi hai …..
DIL DOST KO DOGE TO DOST BANAOGE
SATHI KO DOGE TO SATHI BANAOGE
PYAR KARNE WALO KO DOGE TO KADAR KARWAOGE
AUR AGAR APNO KO DOGE TO PACHTAOGE…………
KHUDA KI IBADAT ME WO EK DUA HAMARI HOGI
JISME MANGI HAR KHUSHI TUMHARI HOGI
JAB BHI KOI DASTAK SUNAI DE DIL PE
TO SAMAGH LENA WO PYAR KI DASTAK HAMARI HOGI…………
Likhte to nahi ho har waqt shayari ka bhoot ,
Dosti ki hai to dil ki baat kro ,
Aaj bhut dukhi hon par phir bhi a bhej rhai hon,
Aane wale the mahino baad,
Station se hamara ghar door na tha.
Par hum milen unse,
Shayed unhe manjoor na tha.
Jinn: Hukam aaka?
Man: Ghar se dunai tak road banani hai
Jinn: Mushkil hai aur koi kaam bataiye
Man: Meri biwi ko aagyakari aur samajhdar bana do.
Jinn: Road single banani hai ya dabule..
Kya meri nak tedi hai. ankhen mendki jesi hai.
surat se besharm lagta Hoon,
pagal hoon akal nahi mujhe…
phir kise ne aisa kiyo kaha meri Surat tumse milte hai………….?
yr 1 : janu
yr 2 : O ji
yr 3 : sunte ho?
yr 4 : O bunty ke papa
yr 5 : kide mar gaye?
TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
ANDE ka oml8 ho,
SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!
Lamhe judai ke bekarar karte hain,
Haalat meri mujhe laachar karte hain,
Aankhe meri pad lo kabhi,
Ham khud kaise kahe ki
hum aapse pyaar karte hain.
Tere liye agar jan vi dene pade
kurban he jan tujhpar khuda sevi na darte he hum
tumare hawas vari nigaye kaise janegi ye raj
ke duniya me sabse bada pyar tumhiko karte he hum.
Bandar ki Beti Apne Baap se Boli
Papa Papa Mujhe Shadi Karni Hai
Beta thoda intezar karo kyonki
Dulha Abhi SMS Read Kar Rahi hai
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| Funny Jokes In Hindi 2012 |
DIL JALANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO
CHAR DIN SE MOO NAHI DHOIYA
TUM NAHANE KI BAAT KARTE HOO
Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai
Jis taraf dekho apka hi naam hai
upar likha hai most wanted
neeche 25 paise ka inaam hai
usne mehndi laga rakhi thi
humne uski doli utha rakhi thi
hum ko maloom tha ke woh bewafa niklegi
issi liye humne uski behan pata rakhi thi
APPLE KAT’TA HO KNIFE SE
PANI PITA HO PIPE SE
KIYA ZAMANA AGAYA HAI
JUTAI KHATA HO TUM WIFE SE
Ishq Me Dekh Tera Kya Haal Ho Gaya,
Badan Se Badbu Maar Rahi Hai,
Tujhe Nahaye Hue Zamana Ho Gaya.
Internet par ladki pataayi
Internet par ho gayi sagaayi
Internet par divorce ho gaya
Is bahaane computer ka course ho gaya
PYAR MAIN KISI NE DHOKHA KHAYA
TO KISI NE KASAM KHAI HAI
Tum WO MAJNOO HAI
JIS NE SIRF LAAT KHAI HAI
Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!
Na ishq karna mere yaar
ye ladkiya bahut satati hai
na karna in par aitbar
ye kharch bahut karwati hai
recharge tum karwa ke dete ho
or number mera lagati hai
Teri yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi
Liya paper aur tasveer aapki banayi
Socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge
Magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi…
Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi
Aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi
Are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi
Jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi..
Pyaar Ise Kehte Hain
Jawani ko zindage ki nikhaar kehte hain,
pathjad ko chaman ka majdhaar kehte hain,
Ajeeb chalan hain duniya ka yaaro,
Ek Dhoka hain Jise hum sab PYAAR kehte hain!
Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,
Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge,
Agar wo aa jayegi meri zindagi me,
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| Funny SMS In Hindi |
DOSTI KI KADAR KARTE HAI HUM
AASMA MEIN SITARE HAI JITNE
YAKIN NA HO TO CALL KAR KE DEKHLO
BAAT KARENGEY AAPKE MOBILE MEIN PAISE HO JITNE
Yeh jo hasinao ke baal hote hai,
ladko ko fasane ke jaal hote hai,
pee jati hai sara khoon ladko ka
tabhi to gaal itne laal hote hai..
Tum door sahi majboor sahi,
par yaad tumhari aati hai,
Jab saans wahan par
leti ho toh badboo yahaan par aati hai
DOSTI KI KADAR KARTE HAI HUM
AASMA MEIN SITARE HAI JITNE
YAKIN NA HO TO CALL KAR KE DEKHLO
BAAT KARENGEY AAPKE MOBILE MEIN PAISE HO JITNE
Majnu ko Laila ka SMS nahi aaya
Usne 3 din se khana nahi khaya.
Woh marne wala hai Laila ke pyar mein,
Aur Laila baithi hai SMS free hone ke intezar mein.
Har gali phoolon se saja rakhi hai,
Har chowk pe ladkiyan bitha rakhi hai,
Na jane kis raste se aap aaoge,
Isliye har ladki ko ek-ek raakhi thama rakhi hai.
If v treat her nice she says “yaar mujhe line de raha hai”
If v dont she says “kitna akarta hai”
If v dress nicely she says “mujhe impress karna chahta hai”
If v dont she says “tasteless hai yaar”
If v argue with her she says “ziddi hai”
If v sit quietly she says “dumb hai”
If v act smarter she’ll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says “is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai”
If v love her she says “peechhe hi pad gayaa hai”
If v dont tell her ur prob she says ” u r not honest 2 me”
If u do tell to her she says “u r a problem child”
If v scold her she says “you act like a grandpa giving lecture”
If she scolds us she says “Yaar, its becoz i care”
If v break a promise she says “She does not trust u any more”
If she breaks she says “jaan main majboor thi….
ladkiyan re ladkiyan . .
bechare boys itna sab sehke bhi chup chap rehte
Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana…
agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana…
Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narak me hai…
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| Very Funny SMS In Hindi |
kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
kutton ke sardar ho gaye…
Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.
Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!
Mandir mein jap karta hoon,
Masjid mein adab karta hoon,
insan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
isliye roz tujhko SMS karke pap karta hoon
Hotho se jo choo liya,
Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain…
Aur kyo na ho… Khayi Bhi to ‘HARI Mirchi…’hai…
Andhe ke hath me “TORCH”,
Bahare ke hath me “RADIO”,
Gunge ke hath me “MIKE”,
AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!*
Wife: Suniye g aap ka dost galat larki se shaadi kar raha hai.
aap usse rokte kyon nahi?
Husband: Main kyon rokon? us ne mujhe roka tha kiya
Achhi jindagi jine ke do Tarike hai–
1) Jo ‘PASAND’ hair use ‘HASIL’ karna sikh lo.
Ya Phir
2) Jo ‘HASIL’ ho use hi ‘PASAND’ karna sikh lo.
Aap itraate bahut ho dil ko behlate bahut ho,
Sochte hai apko Dinner per le jaye,
Par kya kare hamara iraada badal jaata hai,
Kyunki aap khate bahut ho…!!
Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
Apki ‘smile’ ne saara jahan hila diya,
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| Funny SMS In Hindi 2012 |
Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
“Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai”
Santa to doctor : Dr: when i sleep monkeys play football in my dream..
Dr:no problem just take this medicine before sleep.
Santa: kal se loonga aaj raat ko final hai.
Apko paakar ab khona nahi chahate.
Itna khush ho ker ab rona nahi chahate.
Yeh aalam hai hamara aapki judai se.
Aankho mein neend hai magar sona nahi chahate.
Woh Zindagi hi kya jisme Mohabbat nahi,
Woh Mohabbat hi kya jisme Yaadein nahi,
Woh Yaadein kya jisme Tum nahi,
Aur woh Tum hi kya jiske saath Hum nahi.
Na khwabon me dekha, na nazaron me dekha,
Hazaron me ek humne tum hi ko dekha,
Gum dene wale to har pal hai yahan,
Har pal khushi dene walon me ek aap hi ko dekha.
Mitti ki anokhi murat ho tum,
Zindagi ki ek zarurat ho tum,
Phool to khubsurat hote hai,
Phoolo se bhi khubsurat ho tum.
Sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai
Sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai
Aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai
Ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai.
Dil mein ek dard liye jiye ja raha hoon,
Teri mohabbat ka jaam piye ja rahan hoon,
Na chahte huye bhi ye kaam kiye jaa raha hoon,
Na jane khud ko kaun si manzil par liye ja raha hoon.
Doodh Mein Uria, Mineral Water Mein Castic Soda,
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| Dirty Funny sms in Hindi |
Ab Hum Kya Kare, Pure Bachi Bhi Hai To Sirf Yeh Sharab..
Botal Chupa dena kafan mein meri
Shamshan mein piya karunga
Jab mangega hisab khuda ;
To use bhi peg bana kar diya karunga…
Plz call me,
its urgent.
Ek accident ho gaya hai.
.
.
.
.
.
Aap ka hi blood group chahiye,
Plz mana mat karna
.
.
Warna
.
.
GADHA mar jayega
jaane kyon log flirt karte hain
jaane kyon woh affairs chalate hain
jaane kyon….jaane kyon…
jaane kyon jaane kyon jaane kyon
affairs bin jeene main rakha kya hai
affair jiska nahi woh tanha hai
affair 100 rang lekar ata hai
affair hi zindagi sajaata hai
log chup-chupkar affair chalate hain
aur sabke samne frnds ban jate hain
jaane kyon..jaane kyon,,,
jaane kyon jaane kyon jaane kyon
affair best frnds main ladai karata hai
affair main banda pagal ho jarta hai
affair na chahte hue bhi chal jata hai
affair bahut badnami karata hai
akhir main har ladai ka base ban jata hai
jaane kyon ..jaane kyon
jaane kyon jaane kyon jaanekyon
lekin kabhi kabhi ye payar main convert ho jata hai
jhoot har such aur such har jhoot ho jata hai
payar ki gaadi main 5th gear lag jata hai
aur yun affair zindagi ka safar ban jata hai
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| Very Funny SMS In Hindi 2013 |
sardar : aj maine apni class main sub se pyari larki phansa li..
frnd : wo kaisey ?
saradr : class lagi thi ..maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke phainka.
jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya.
us ne ghusey se pocha yeh kis ne phainka ?
maine us larki ka naam lay liya
Phans gaye Bichari
Raat 3 baje santa apni wife ko jor se dhakka dene laga
Wife: Kya hua ?
Santa : Tum Nind ki Goli lena bhul Gayi !
WIFE:- Suniyeji Aapka Dost Galat Ladki Se Shadi Kar Raha Hai, Aap use
Rokte Kyu nahi ?
Husband :- Mein use kyu roku?
usne muje roka tha kya ?
Hai samina good keep in hearth touch it may be u loving any one
so dont feel some body watching u its ur goodluck to u have one
more chance to do love or find life partner ok keep in touch
bohat dard ha apke bahomein ya dil main magar nahi rakna apke dilmain
kehke dil apna nahi hota kesike dillmain dard app nahi raksakte ho
Aapki judai bhi humein pyar karti hai.
Aapki yaad bahut bekrar karti hai.
Jaate jaate kahin bhi mulakat ho jaye aapse,
Talash aapko yeh nazar bar bar karti hai…
Tum zindagi ko gham ka
Fasana bana gaye
Aankhon main intezar ki
Duniya basaa gaye
Tum se thi mere pyaar ki
Duniya basi huy
Tum se thi zindagi ke
Andehre main roshani
Tum kiya gaye
chirag_e_mohabbat
bujhaa gaye
Duniya ujhar gayi
Mere sabro karaar ki
Ro ro k raat kaat ti houn
Intezaar ki
Jab chand par nazar pari
Tum yaad a gaye
Tum zindagi ko gham ka
Fasana bana gaye
Aankhon main intezar ki
Duniya basaa gaye
MUNNABHAI:-A sarkit, yaar mereko woh sister(nurse) se pyaar hogaya hai.Loveletter kaise likhun?
SARKIT :-Simple, BHAI, aap likh dalo I love you sister. I am your munnaBHAI
Chalo tumko batata hun jo ye ek raaj hai pyare;
Meri aawaaj k pichhe bhi ek aawaaj hai pyare!
+++++++++++++++++
Usane fenke mujh pe patthar our main paani ki tarah;
Our ooncha, our ooncha our ooncha uth gaya!
+++++++++++++++++
Saawan men wo na aaye to hamne yahi kiya;
Jhoole pe unka naam likha our jhula diya!
+++++++++++++++++
Duniyaa ne mujh pe fenke the patthar jo behisaab;
Maine unhi ko jod k ek ghar bana liya!
1. On being Late:
“Kab shuru hua?”
“Attendance ho gayi kya??”
“Kal raat der tak gappe marte rahe yaar”
“Mein kya karu, wo bathroom mein ghusa hua tha”
“Aab nind nahi khuli to mein kya karu…….. . bolna …….. kal kya padaya tha sir ne”
“Kal se pakka class karunga”
“Ek page de na………. abe pen bhi to de…….”
“Yaar iss class ke liye koi subah kaise aa sakta hai……..”
2. During the lecture:
“Yesss !!!! Sir…….The answer is …….huuuummmmm. ……aaaaaaaa. ……… ..”
“No sir…..I know the answer …….sir.. ..”
“Saala apne aapko Newton samajta hai”
“Abe lecture ko chod….. dekh wo kya lag rahi hai aaj……..”
“Uske bagal mein nahi baith sakta tha…….gadha. ……”
“Kya bore ho raha hai. Bola tha movie dekhne chalte hain ”
“Heads, we go Movie , Tails, we go Movie now!!!”
“class khatam hote hi Soft drink chahiye….. .”
3. Lab
“Expt. 2 Kiya kya??”
“Isme Karna kya hai??”
“Yeh bhai…..mereko aata to tere pass kyon aata…….. ”
“Are tu to bura maan gaya……. dikha na………”
4. Tests
“Tests???? …..Aree yaar…… ”
“Kya…… abe Test mein itna topic hai to annual mein kya hoga….”
“Boss….. hogaya…… aur nahi ho sakta……. .jaan nahi de sakta……. ”
“Oh !!! Itna syllabus cover ho gaya ?”
“Aaj kounsa test hai?”
“Oye Mera dost kaha hai……uska roll number mere baad hai…….wo nahi aaya to mein pakka fail….”
After test……
“yaar pada tha….recall nahi kar paya…….chhod na ……. Canteen chalega…”
5. For attendance (less attendance isliye attendance badane ke liye bahane)
“I was in the class, lecturer mark karna bhool gaya ”
“Oye usko thoda khus kar list se tera naam hata dega…….. ”
“Bola tha proxy regularly maar……. Saale teri class karne ka kya faida hua…..”
6. Late submission of Projects
“Maine usko bola thaa ki copy karke mera assignment bhi saath mein submit kar dena”
“Last date extend hui thi”
“I didn’t know the last date”
“Ab mein kya karu usne mereko bole bina hi submit kar diya…….”
“They should allow XEROX……. .”
7 . After exam
“Yeh bhi syllabus mein thaa kya?”
“Achha !!! ye aise hota hai kya?”
“Ye Kaunsi book me tha”
“1st mein 3 marks…..2nd mein 0…….3rd mein 2…….Gaya. ……… fail pakka……. ”
“Yaar notice lagte hi faad dena…….. wo kya soochegi mera marks dekh kar……”
8 VIVA (b4 exam)
“Submission ab tak hua nahi hai , VIVA kya ghanta doonga”
“Aeee……Rohit. ….terese kya poocha…… .”
“External ke ghar mein bacche nahi hai kya…….”
“Dekh Boss!! external bhi aadmi hai. Usko pata hai students ki ab tak preparation nahi hui hai”
9 . VIVA (General)
“Dekh , tu jo bhi padhega , woh (external) tereko woh nahi poochhnewaala, then watz the point”
“Roll no. 1 aur 2 ki watt laga di hai”
“External is asking Bermuda Triangle ka Magnetic force kitna hai”
“Ye kounse unit mein aata hai”
10 . Submission
“Ye bhi chhapna hai kya?”
“Iska bhi print-out lena hai kya?”
“Jai ho computer baba ki……jai ho Ctrl C – Ctrl V ki…….”
“Tujhe Sir ka sign aata hai kya?”
“Ye tune kya likha hai????”
(The best one)
“Jo word samajh mein aa raha hai woh likh, jo nahi samajh mein aa raha hai uski drawing nikal”
“Phir bhi, kuch to idea hoga??”
” Maine uska likha hai, mera assignment check ho gaya , tu bhi wohi kar.”
“Koi hint…….. ”
“Are baba ghasit de……..na tu samjega na wo……..”
12. Exam
“Jo (mujhe) aata hai, woh (paper mein)aata nahi hai; jo nahi aata hai who aata hai”
“ye question 2 saal se nahi poochha hai”
“ye last time hi poochha thaa”
“tere paas is ke notes hai??”
“woh chapter… mark weightage 6 marks… (facial ex-pressions speaks the story)”
“nahi samjha to rat le”
“External ke aane ke pura scene hai……. ”
“Iss paper mein roll number ka kya order hai……..”
“Pichle paper mein to kuch to aata tha…….issmein to anda aata hai……”
“Ek aur din ka gap de dete to kya 3rd World War ho jata tha kya……..”
…….. bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai ………
…….. Aaj har wo baat yaad aati hai…….
…….. kuch buri batein jo ab acchi lagti hain ……..
…….. kuch batein jo kal ki hi batein lagti hain ……..
…….. abki baar class attend karne ka man karta hai ……..
…….. Dopahar ki class mein aakhen band karne ka man karta hai……
…….. hostel ke chat ki wo raat yaad aati hai ……..
…….. exam ke time pe wo hasi mazak bahut pyari lagti hai ……..
…….. tab ki bekar lagne wali photo’s chehre pe hasi laati hai …….
…….. Apni galtiyon pe tumse daat khana yaad aata hai. ……..
…….. Par tumhari galti dekhne ka man karta hai……..
…….. Aaj tum bahut yaad aate ho…….
……..fir waise hi subah uthne ka man karta hai……..
……..bas ek bar wapas lautne ka man karta hai……..
……..bas ek bar aur …….
……..wapas lautne ka man karta hai
Suraj: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? Pappu: Diamond ring de. Raju: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon. Pappu: fir tractor ka tyre de!
Suraj: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? Pappu: Diamond ring de. Raju: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon.
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti
What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?Ans:Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING
Santa- Yesterday night I saved a girl from Rape. Banta- O-Great! but how? Santa- Self Control buddy Self Control !!!
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Public wallMy SMSSaas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi
A : Why have you kept the newspaper in the fridge? B : Because it is full of HOT NEWS.
Raju: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? Pappu: Diamond ring de. Raju: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon. Pappu: fir tractor ka tyre de!
santa: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? banta: Diamond ring de. s: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon. b: fir tractor ka tyre
"Beauty is skin deep but it can stay longer if you are filthy rich."
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
A man got a blood transfusion, but the hospital ran out of blood - so substituted borscht. Now his heart never skips a beet.
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested
LOFER or OFFER ME KYA FARK HI? jab koi ladka kisi ladki ko propose kare to lofer or jab koi ladki ladke ko propose kare to offer.
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO? A: There have been sightings of UFOs.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Raju to policeman: yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: gaadi dheere chalao. Policeman: kyunki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi hai.
Taro ki chao me ek palki banai hai, Ye palki mene bade pyar se sajai hai, Aie hawajaramand-mandchalna, Meredostkobadipyarisinindayehai.
Unki kismat ka bhi kaisa sitara hoga Jinko meri tarah tkdir ne mara hoga Kinare par bithe log ye kya jne Dubne wale ne kis-2 ko pukara
Raju k 12 bachchon mein ek alag dikhta tha. Biwi marne wali thi to raju ne poochha: ab to bata do ye kis ka hai? Biwi: sirf yehi aapka hai.
Hiiii mere Rasgulley..! Apna bahut sara khayal rakhna meri rasmalai. I love you very very very much. Aap to meri jaan ho my sweety.Puchchch.
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair mard ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kuch na kaha, bhala kyun, kyunki saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
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American: hamare yahan shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai. Raju: kamal hai hamare yahan to shaadi sirf female se hoti hai.
Mery Khoobsurti,Meri Jannat,Meri Apsara,Meri Jaan,Meri Soni-Moni, Mera Rose,Meri Rooh,Meri Saansein,Meri Mohabbat,Meri Khushboo love you.
Raju to policeman: yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: gaadi dheere chalao. Policeman: kyunki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi haiS
Raju to policeman: yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: gaadi dheere chalao. Policeman: kyunki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi hai
Raju to policeman: yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: gaadi dheere chalao. Policeman: kyunki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi hai.
Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.
Husband: agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to main pagal ho jaaunga. Wife: doosri shaadi to nahin karoge? Husband: pagal to kuch bhi ker sakta
santa chabi se apna kan khuja raha tha banta bola- agar tum start nahi ho rahe to me dhakka lagau kya?
santa chabi se apna kan khuja raha tha banta bola- agar tum start nahi ho rahe to me dhakka lagau kya?
Raju: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? Pappu: Diamond ring de. Raju: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon. Pappu: fir tractor ka tyre de!
Ek police inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi. Wife: utho, ghar me chori ho rahi hai. Inspector: mujhe sone de, iss time duty par nahi hoon
3 scary things to see the next morning after spending the night drunk- 1.own face, 2.Wallet: 3.Records of outgoing calls: good morning.
Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO 'CHILDREN DAY' MANANA PADTA HAI?
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Biwi: Kal raat aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye. Husband:Sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost,1 bottle, aur woh 3 kambakht peete nahin
okie gud 9t bhut bore kr diya aj ki date mai apko ab jra mai satsang sun lun okie take care
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti.
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai. Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi
twinkle twinkle little star tera boy friend gaya bazar us ko mil gaya doosra pyar ab tu beth ker makhyan maaar
Twinkle twinkle little star, you should know what you are, and once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far.
raju to policeman;yeh har taraf kyon likha hai; gaadi dheere chalao.
Raju to policeman: yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: gaadi dheere chalao. Policeman: kyunki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi hai
It is time to get up and get things done, Look, the sun is shining. And with such great timing, A new and fresh morning has come!
hiSaas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti kya.
Raju to policeman: yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: gaadi dheere chalao. Policeman: kyunki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi hai.
Ek ap ho ki sharmate bahut ho,Ek ap ho ki itrate bhi bahut ho,Dil to karta hai ki apko diner pe ley javein,Lekin kya kare ap khate bahut h0
ramu ki maa mar gyi.1admi bola- maa mujhe bhe le jati.2-4bole- maa humhe bhi le jati,ramu bola-chup ho jao salo maa kya TATA SUMO karke gayi
Ek ap ho ki sharmate bahut ho,Ek ap ho ki itrate bhi bahut ho,Dil to karta hai ki apko diner pe ley javein,Lekin kya kare ap khate bahut h0
Raju to policeman: yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: gaadi dheere chalao. Policeman: kyunki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi hai.
What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?Ans:Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary
Har InaYat Har KhuShi ApKi Ho MaHek UtHe Wo MEHFiL JaHa HaSi ApKi Ho! Koi B LaMha ApKa Udas Na Ho KhuDa Kre JaNNat JaiSi ZinDgi AapK
sharab hai to mai-khane banay husan hai to dewane banay ap me bhe koi khaas baat hai tabhe to pagal khane banay
A special face, A special smile, A special someone, A special hug from me to u, A special person, I found in u, Sweet Dream
Lines said by GF aftr breakup: He broke my heart, i broke his apple IPhone 64GB.. . . . . . Rest u can guess..Kaun jyada roya hoga
Why do u drink water??? . . . . . . . . Bcoz we cant eat water..!! No claps plz.Kasam se..Mei bachpan se hi genius hu..
Sardarji is buying a TV. SalesMan- "Do you want color TVs???" "Sure...,Give me a green one, please."
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair mard ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kuch na kaha, bhala kyun, kyunki saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO 'CHILDREN DAY' MANANA PADTA HAI?
Ek police inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi. Wife: utho, ghar me chori ho rahi hai. Inspector: mujhe sone de, iss time duty par nahi
"Love needs two things: it has to be rooted in freedom and it has to know the art of trust."
3 gujrati women went to chaat shop. Ist woman: manne chat. 2ND woman: manne ragdo(tikki). 3RD woman: manne pehle chat phir ragdo!!
hiSaas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti k
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga? Doc: Haan, bilkul. Santa: Theek hai doc saab aapne Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bana di
Girl friend: kya shaadi k baad bi tum mujhe itna pyar karoge? Boy friend: kyun nahin? Mujhe to shadi-shuda girls bahut pasand hain.
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!?WIFE satys No, it means With Idiot for Ever
santa chabi se apna kan khuja raha tha banta bola- agar tum start nahi ho rahe to me dhakka lagau kya?
ky[totuffopip[ikfhgiygioftoydtdti iioiog i fto
ghar jaega..? ruk ja agr jaldi nai hai to...i'll coming...
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair mard ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kuch na kaha, bhala kyun, kyunki saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta
If 10 people care 4 u, one of them is me, if 1 person cares 4 u that would be me again, if no 1 cares 4 u that means i m not in this world.
ramu ki maa mar gyi.1admi bola- maa mujhe bhe le jati.2-4bole- maa humhe bhi le jati,ramu bola-chup ho jao salo maa kya TATA SUMO karke gayi
Kaanto ke badle phool kya doge Aansoon ke badle khushi kya doge Hum chahate aap se umar bhar ka saath Hamare iss sawal ka jawab kya doge
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair mard ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kuch na kaha, bhala kyun, kyunki saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiii
kash ap bakri hote,hum apko ghans khilate aur pyar se aap ke kaan me puchhate,paagal kaun me ya tum..aur tum pyar se bolte. main main..
Sm1 is loving u caring 4 u watchng ovr u protectng u Guess Who Neighbor s dog
Wife wht wil u giv me if I climb Mt Everest successfully Husband gentle push
vidyasagar: Teachr 4 bful grls r walkng on d road Chnge to exclamatory sntnce studnt WOW
vidyasagar: Doc Ur hsbnd needs rest Here r sm slpng pills Wife whn 2 gv him Doc Dey r 4 u
Emandari se mujhe in subjects m marks do dosti ( ) % sincere ( )% ziddi ( )% shararti ( )% love ( )% gussa ( )% swtweet
vidyasagar: Gabbar kitne aadmi the sambha sarkar ginti aati to yaha thodi hotatweet
vidyasagar: Circuit Bhai akkal badi k bhais MunnaBhai ae mamu bole to dono ka bday to btatweet
Girlriend: mera ladla, mera pyara, mera chhona, mera gulgula. Muj se shadi karoge? Bolo baby. Boyfriend: mujhe propose kar rahi ho ya adoptweet
newton chya bayko cha ukhana:-) aai la pahun bal khudkan hasl (2) dokyaver padl saparchand tar te khaych sodun yed shodh lavat busl ;-)tweet
Sardar : You cheated me. Shopkeeper: How ? Sardar : You said this is American made radio. But when I put it ON it says Al In.radio
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
kuch nhi sirf apko sms bhej rha tha , kya hua pareshan ho gaye
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Do u know, what i say, what i think, what i feel, what i think, what i wish, U want to know? I MISS U SO MUCH.
Last yr u told me tht u written abut ur dad, from tht buk send me some gd articles and poems via email.
Ek police inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi. Wife: utho, ghar me chori ho rahi hai. Inspector: mujhe sone de, iss time duty par nahi hoon.
Matre sarabi se bhagwan: Bhwn:koi antim eekcha Sarabi:agle janam mai daat bhale he 1 dena magar liver 31 dena..!!
ek baar ek aadmi ki photo ek oorat ke saari ke neche aa jati hai who kahta hai..............jara apni saari uthaiye hum photo lene hai.
patient:pure sarir mai jaha bhi ungli se chuta hu bhut dard karta hai.Dctor ne pure body ka x-ray kia aur kaha. tmhra ungli frctre hai..!!
Gabbar: Thakurrrrrrrr Ye mobile hamko de de........... Thakur: Ja Ja Hat Pair ki masti hoti hai..mobile ki nahi.....
saas:bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aakhe di.chawal me se2-4patthar nahi nikalsakti.bahu:tumhe 32daat diye2-4patther nahi chaba sakti kya.
hadd ho gyi yaar ..........ab toh paani sir se upar ja rha hai .................raunk's.>>
God created millions of faces with different looks. But when he reached China, he was exhausted. Then he started Copy,Paste,Copy,Paste
aas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti kya.
Some people like sunday, Some people like monday, However i just like only one day, Its your birthdayâ Happy Birthday!
Some people like sunday, Some people like monday, However i just like only one day, Its your birthdayâ Happy Birthday!
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai. Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi
Husbandasks,Doyou know the meaning of WIFE.It means.Without Information Fighting Everytime! WIFE satys No it means With Idiot for Ever G/N
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti kya
What do you call a wife who is sexy,beautiful,intelligent,understanding,caring, never jealous and a great cook?ANSWER : A rumour!Share
Girlriend: mera ladla, mera pyara, mera chhona, mera gulgula. Muj se shadi karoge? Bolo baby. Boyfriend: mujhe propose kar rahi ho ya adopt?Share
Raju to policeman: yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: gaadi dheere chalao. Policeman: kyunki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi hai.Share
Ik raat bahuu ne kisi gair mard ke saath guzari, mager saas ne kuch na kaha, bhala kyun, kyunki saas bhi kabi Bahu thiiiiiiiiiShare
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga? Doc: Haan, bilkul. Santa: Theek hai doc saab aapne Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bana di!Share
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means With Idiot for EverShare
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?Share
Santa ne PCO pe jate hi PCO wale ko 2 thappad laga diye. Socho kyon? Because PCO ke bahar likha tha, dial karne se pahle 2 lagaye...Share
Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai. Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundiShare
Raju: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? Pappu: Diamond ring de. Raju: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon. Pappu: fir tractor ka tyre de!Share
Early to bed and early to rise makes ur girlfriend go out with other guys.Share
Bhikhari: saahib ek rupaiya de do. Saahib: kal aana. Bhikhari: is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaiye fase hue hain.Share
What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?Ans:Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING SIRShare
American: hamare yahan shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai. Raju: kamal hai hamare yahan to shaadi sirf female se hoti hai.Share
Customer: raju ji lassi me makkhi hai. Raju: oye chupkar dil bada rakh, ye nanni si jaan teri kitni lassi pee jayegi.Share
Biwi: Kal raat aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye. Husband:Sab galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost,1 bottle, aur woh 3 kambakht peete nahinShare
Pappu: tumne apni patni ko birthday par diamond ring kyun di? Voh to car chahati thi na? Raju: par main nakli car kahan se le ke aata?Share
Ek police inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi. Wife: utho, ghar me chori ho rahi hai. Inspector: mujhe sone de, iss time duty par nahi hoon.Share
Ek sawal...14FEB VALENTINES DAY ko log AISA KYA KARTE HAI KI THEEK 9 MAHINAY BAAD 14 NOV KO 'CHILDREN DAY' MANANA PADTA HAI?
Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hain? Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achchha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare.
Girl: molvi saahib i m in love. Molvi: Naoozbila, Asteghirula, Laholwala, Toba,Toba. Girl: No molvi saahib, I am in love with u. Molvi: Mash
Ramu: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?Bhola: tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAK
Raju: Main to apne sare dosto ko bhul hi gaya tha par ek film dekhi to sub yaad aa gaya. Ali: kon si film? Raju: KAMINEY
Biwi(gusse me): tumhare dimag me sirf gobar bhara hai. Husband(pyaar se): toh itni der se kyu kha rahi ho??
Ek car se takrakar ek kabootar behosh ho jata hai. Car wala usse ghar le gaya, pinjre me rakha, kabootar ko hosh aaya to bola: AAILA JAIL? W
Wife Pati Ko Marr Rahi Thi. Padosi: Kyu Maar Rahi Ho. Patni: Inko Call Kiya, To ek ladki boli: Aap Jisse Sampark karna Chahate Ho Wo Abhi vy
Teacher: Tum Bade Hokar kya karoge. Student: Shaadi. Teacher: No, mera Matlab hai kya banoge. Student: Dulha. Teacher: Oo ho, I Mean Bade Ho
Raju: Yaar gadha mithai dekhkar kya sochta hoga? Ali: Yahi ki KAASH YAH MITHAI GHAAS HOTI.
Bhikari: ae bhai 1 rupaya dede 3 din se bhukha hu. Raju: 3 din se bhukha hai to 1 rupaye ka kya karega? Bhikhari: Wajan tolunga kitna GHATA
Mene Pani Me 1 Sikka Daala Or Bhagwan Se 1 Pyara sa Dost Manga, Muje Aap Mil Gaye. Aasman se Awaz Ayi: 1 Rupaye Me Aisa Hi Milta Hai.
Ladka college me frst day ek ladki se: Hi, Aap ka naam? Ladki: (Gussay se) mujhe sab Behen kehtay hain. Ladka: badi khushi hui Aapse mil k,m
Raju pe bijli ka taar gir gaya: Raju tadap-tadap k marne hi wala tha, k Use yaad aaya ki Bijli to din se band hai.
Ek Sarabi roj Shiv Mandir Mein Sir tekta tha, Ek Din Pujari ne Shiv K jagah pe Ganesh ki murti rakh di, Sharabi Aaya, Sir teka aur bola: Ch
Changu: yaar mangu bahut der se neend nahi aa rahi hai. Mangu: koi baat nahi tu uska wait mat kar aur so ja.
Raju: Meri Biwi mujhe chodd kar chali gayi. Ali: Yaar tu uska khayal nahi rakhta hoga. Raju: Nahi yaar saghi behan se bhi jyada khayal rakht
Ek ladka apani Girl Friend ka cell check kar raha tha, Ye dekhne ke liye ki usne kis nam se uska number save kiya hai? jab usne miss call di
A Policeman to his son: Yeh kya hai itne kam marks? Aaj se tumhara khelna,TV dekhna, ghumna sab band. Son: Yeh lo papa 50 rupaye, baat ko ye
Ek Girl: Hey Bhagwan, Meri Shaadi Kisi Samajhdar aadmi se karwa Do. Bhagwan: Ghar jao beti samajhdar aadmi kabhi shaadi nahin karte.
Raju: Jab main mar jaun to samne waali family ko zaroor bulana. Pappu: Kyun? Raju: Yaar unke ghar ki ladies murde se lipat lipat kar roti ha
Raju: Ghar mai Mera hi hukam chalta hai. Main kehta hoon, Garam paani le aao, woh le aati hai. Dost: Garam pani Q? Raju: Garam pani se Barta
Raju k 12 bachon mein ek alag dikhta tha. Jab uski biwi marnay wali thi to Raju ne poocha: Ab to bata do ye kis ka hai? Biwi: Sartaj, sirf y
Raju: Mere dada ne 1857 ke jung main dushman ki tangein kaat di thi. Dost: Gardanein q nahi kati? Raju: Wo pehle hi kati hui thi.
Raju: Raat ko mene eak horror movie dekhi, Eak chudail kabhi mere age kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi. Wife: Kaun si movie thi? Raj
Raju ki wife inspecter se: Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye. Inspector: to behan kuch or paka lo.
Bhikhari: Saahib ek rupaiya de do. Saahib: Kal aana. Bhikhari: Iss kal kal ke chakkar mein iss colony mein mere lakhon rupaiye fasse hue hai
American: Hamare yahan shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai. Raju: Kamal hai hamare yahan to shaadi sirf female se hoti hai.
Raju to Policeman: Yeh har taraf kyon likha hai: Gaadi Dhire Chalao. Policeman: Kyonki, yahan door door tak koi hospital nahi hai.
Raju: Maalik, Ramu apko gadhe ke barabar bhi nahi samjhta. Ramu: Nahi maalik, yeh jhooth bol raha hai, main to samjhta hoon ji.
Train mein ek mosquito Chinese ke sir pe aa baitha. Vo us ko pakad ke kha gaya. Fir 1 mosquito Bania pe baitha. Us ne pakad ke Chinese ko po
Bania market jata hai underwear purchase karne. Bania: Yeh kitne ka hai? Shopkeeper: Rs 500. Kanjoos Bania: Arey bhai daily wear dikhaao, pa
Raju to Bania friend: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mujhe 1000 rupaye chahiye. Kanjoos Bania: Dost hi to dost ke kaam aata hai. Yeh lo 10
Ek aadmi kabar ke oopar baitha tha. 1 Marathi girl udhar se nikal rahi thi. Marathi Girl: Tum ko dar nahi lagta? Aadmi: Darne ki kya baat ha
Raju: Dekho voh ladki meri taraf dekh ke muskura rahi hai. Pappu: Yeh to kuchh bhi nahi, jab maine pehli baar tumhari shakal dekhi thi to 3
Raju: Tumhari car ka tyre puncture kaise hua? Pappu: ek daaru ki bottle iske neeche aa gayi thi. Raju: Tumhe bottle nazar nahi aayi? pappu:
Husband: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to main Pagal ho jaaunga. Wife: Doosri shaadi to nahin karoge? Husband: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakt
Lady Doctor: Tum roz subah clinic ke bahar khade ho kar auraton ko kyon ghoorte ho? Raju: Ji aap hi ne bahar likha hai: Auraton ko dekhne ka
Raju ek Sadhu se bola: Baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: Beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Ek Police Inspector ke ghar chori ho rahi thi. Wife: Utho ji, ghar me chori ho rahi hai. Police Inspector: Mujhe sone de, main is time duty
Pappu: Tumne apni patni ko birthday par diamond ring kyon di? Voh to car chahati thi na? Raju: Par main nakali Car kahan se le ke ata?
Raju: Main apni patni ko birthday par kon-sa gift du? Pappu: ek diamond ring de do. Raju: Nahi main kuchh badi si cheej dena chahata hu. Pap
Raju horse par ja raha tha. Voh red light jump karta hai. Police vala seeti bajata hai. Raju ghode ki tail oopar kar ke kehata hai: Le karle
Raju sardi lagne se kaamp raha tha. Uska beta doctor ko phone karta hai. Doctor: Kya hua? Son: Bimari ka to pata nahin par bapu subha se vib
Raju: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the. Biwi: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno ka
Pappu sent sms to Raju: Bhejne-wala mahan, padhne-wala gadha. Raju got angry and replied: Bhejne-wala gadha, padhne-wala mahan.
Girl Friend: Kya shaadi k baad bi tum muje itna pyar karoge? Boy Friend: Kyon nahin? Mujhe to shadi-shuda girls bahot pasand hain.
Boss: Tumhe driver ki job de raha hoon. Starting salary Rs.2000/-. Theek hai? Raju: You are great Sir. Gaddi Start karane ki salary is o.k..
Ek Gadha: Yaar mera maalik mujhe bahut maarta hai. Doosra Gadha: To tu bhag kyon nahi jata? Pehla Gadha: Bhag to jaaun par vahan future bahu
Raju: Mera kid bahut fast english bolta hai. Pappu: Beta bolke dikha. Kid: English English English English English.
Raju: Beta ye kaisi machis laaye ho, Sasura ek bhi tilli nahi jal rahi. Son: Kya baat karte ho papa sab ki sab check kar ke laya hoon.
Raju: Vo ladki mujhe ke muskura rahi hai. Pappu: yeh to kuchh bhi nahi, jab maine pehli baar tunhe dekha tha to 3 din hassi nahi rok paya
Raju ki wife inspecter se: mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye. Inspector: to behan kuchh or paka lo.
Raju: mera kid bahut fast english bolta hai. Pappu: beta bolke dikha. Kid: english english english english english.
Raju: mere marne par samne waali family ko zaroor bulana. Pappu: kyun? Raju: yaar unke ghar ki ladies murde se lipat lipat kar roti hain.
Bania market gaya underwear lene. Bania: yeh kitne ka hai? Shopkeeper: rs 500. Bania: arey daily wear dikhaao, party wear nahin.
Husband to a newly wed Wife.I could go to the end of the worldfor u,, wife thanks, but promise me u will stay there
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti kya.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding day?.?.?.?.... It is just a formality, like two boxers shaking hands b4 the fight begins !
Mental hospital ka doctor apni wife ko: pagalon ke saath reh kar main adha pagal ho gaya hoon. Wife: kabhi koi kaam poora bhi kar liya karo.
Boss: Driver ki job hai. Starting salary rs.2000 Theek hai? Raju: Gaddi start karne ki salary is o.k par Gaddi chalane ki salary kitni hai?
Raju: main purse ghar bhool aaya, mujhe 1000 rupaye chahiye. Bania: bilkul dost, Yeh lo 10 rupaye riksha karle ghar se le aao
Pappu sent sms to raju: bhejne-wala mahan, padhne-wala gadha. Raju got angry and replied: bhejne-wala gadha, padhne-wala mahan.
Raju: maalik, ramu apko gadhe ke barabar bhi nahi samjhta. Ramu: nahi maalik, yeh jhooth bol raha hai, main to samjhta hoon ji.
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When a women says "What?" Its not because she didn't hear you. She is giving you a chance to change what you said.
If you give someone a piece of your mind, are you left with peace of mind?
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti kya.
Santa:Dr.Plastic srgary me kitna khrcha ayega.Dr.50 hazar.Santa:agar plastic hum de toh.Dr.(gusse me)saale pighla kar chipka bhi lena.
Himesh ka kutta ghr se bhag gya.Dusre kutton ne puchha tu kyu bhaga?Kuta:sala raat ko gana ki practice wo karta tha.Subah log mujhe martethe
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti kya.
Aisi Uljhi nazar unse Hatt ti nahi Gaur farmayega Aisi Uljhi nazar unse Hatt ti nahi Kuch Dino me He Exam fir Bhi Humari Fatt-ti-Nahi
Girl: I'm not feeling well today! Boy: Oh! Thatz 2 bad, i thought of taking u 4 shoping today! Girl: I ws joking Boy: Me To
yun to koi tanha nahi hota chahkar kisise juda nahi hota mohabbat ko majburiyan hi le dubti hai . warna khusi se koi bewafa nahi hota.
Girlriend: mera ladla, mera pyara, mera chhona, mera gulgula. Muj se shadi karoge? Bolo baby. Boyfriend: mujhe propose kar rahi ho ya adopShare
tumhaar chera moti samaan tumhaar aakhein moti samaan tumhaar gaal moti samaan or moti humaar kutte ka naam
Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga? Doc: Haan, bilkul. Santa: Theek hai doc saab aapne Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bana di!
what is d difference between sky n panty?????? sky covers the whole universe,but panty cover the universal whole!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Girlriend: mera ladla, mera pyara, mera chhona, mera gulgula. Muj se shadi karoge? Bolo baby. Boyfriend: mujhe propose kar rahi ho ya adopt?
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti kya.
once a boy living in a city, he didn't know how to play cricket... now he is not in team india!!!!
Chalti nahi duniya kisi k aane se Rukti nahi duniya kisi k jane se Pyar to sabko mil jata he kabhi Kami to khalti he kisi k dur jane se.
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated... drank poison & said, Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
Raju k 12 bachchon mein ek alag dikhta tha. Biwi marne wali thi to raju ne poochha: ab to bata do ye kis ka hai? Biwi: sirf yehi aapka hai.
suraj: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? Pappu: Diamond ring de. Raju: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon. Pappu: fir tractor ka tyre de!
suraj: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? Pappu: Diamond ring de. Raju: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon.
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi chaba sakti k
What is the difference b/w secretary & private secretary?Ans:Secretary says GOOD MORNING SIR & Private secretary says ITS MORNING SI
Santa- Yesterday night I saved a girl from Rape. Banta- O-Great! but how? Santa- Self Control buddy Self Control !!!
Raju ek sadhu se bola: baba, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao. Sadhu: beta, upaay hota to main sadhu kyun banta?
Public wallMy SMSSaas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 patthar nahi nikal sakti. Bahu: Tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 patthar nahi
A : Why have you kept the newspaper in the fridge? B : Because it is full of HOT NEWS.Share
Raju: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? Pappu: Diamond ring de. Raju: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon. Pappu: fir tractor ka tyre de!
santa: main apni patni ko kya gift doon? banta: Diamond ring de. s: nahi main kuch bada dena chahata hoon. b: fir tractor ka tyre
"Beauty is skin deep but it can stay longer if you are filthy rich."
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Time is what keeps everything from happening all at onceShare
A man got a blood transfusion, but the hospital ran out of blood - so substituted borscht. Now his heart never skips a beet.
God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one restedShare
LOFER or OFFER ME KYA FARK HI? jab koi ladka kisi ladki ko propose kare to lofer or jab koi ladki ladke ko propose kare to offer.
Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Degree ki aadh mein college ne kiya blackmail
Jahan hum hote the pass wahan kar diya fail
Mann karta hai ki pahuchadu inhe aisi jail
ki lakh koshish kar le fir bhi mile ne inhe bail
usne mehndi laga rakhi thi
humne uski doli utha rakhi thi
hum ko maloom tha ke woh bewafa niklegi
issi liye humne uski behan pata rakhi thi
Haathi aur chinti ki shadi huyi
dusre din hi haathi mar gaya
chinti boli wah re allha ek din ka pyar diya
aur sari umar Kabar Khodne ka kaam diya!
Baithe Hain tere khayalon mein
Kagaj pe likha hai tera naam
Kagaj pe teri tasveer laga ke
likha hai ye paigam
Zinda ya Murda pakadne par
milega 50000 ka Inam
Use karte hain make-up ka dabba roz kyu
Ban sanwar kar nikalte hain roz kyu
Mummy, tum to kehthi thi Eid to kab ki gayi
Phir padosan se gale milte hain papa roz kyu
Jise dil diya wo Dilli chali gayi
Jise Pyar kiya wo Poona Chali gayi
Jise Ishq kiya wo Itli Chali gayi
Majboor hokar Socha khudkhushi kar lu
Par bijli ko hath lagaya to bijli chali gayi
Manzil ki taraf badhte raho.
Jo dil kahe usi rah ko chuno,
peeche walon ko age na jaane do
aur jo aage hai unse aage niklo.
Tabhi 1 acche Truck Driver banoge.
Funny Shayari discussed IT Shayries Very Nice Dont Miss on the Funny Shayari discussion board.
Funny Shayari discussed Computer programmer’s Shayari on the Funny Shayari discussion board.
Funny Shayari discussed Woh College k din on the Funny Shayari discussion board.
Fizayen kahti hai pyar karo,
Bahaare kahti hai, aanke char karo.
Magar gharwale kahte hai,
Abhi umar kam hai
pahle M.B.A. pass karo.
palkon pe apni bitaya hai tumhe,
Badi duao ke baad paaya hai tumhe,
Aasani se nahi mile ho tum
National zuological Park se churaya hai tumhe….!!!
Tere gam me tadap kar mar jayenge,
Mar gaye to tera naam lejayenge…
Rishwat de ke tujhe bhi bulaenge,
Tum upar aaoge to saath baith ke Kurkure khaenge….
Dil ki baat dil mein mat rakhna,
Jo pasand ho usse ILU kehna.
Agar wo ghusse mein aa jaaey to darna mat ,
Raakhi nikalna aur kehna pyari behna milti rehna…
School Mein Ishq Ka Naya Mahool Tyar Ho Gaya,
Class Ki Teacher Ko Papu Se Pyar Ho Gaya.
Iss Baat Se Sari Class Ka Dil Udas Ho Gaya,
Sari Class Fail, Aur….. Papu Pass Ho Gaya….
Sangeet Ka Taraana Hua,
Shamaa Ka Parwana Hua,
Masti Ka mastaana Hua,
Jaise Hi Gunghat Uthaya
Is Duniya Se Ravana Hua!
Meri taraf say apko 1 “PAPPI”
Apki saheli ko 1 “PAPPI”
Saheli ki saheli ko 1 “PAPPI”
Batau Q?
Aaj hi mere “DOGGY” ne 10 “PAPPI” ko janam dia hai
Internet par ladki pataayi
Internet par ho gayi sagaayi
Internet par divorce ho gaya
Is bahaane computer ka course ho gaya
Dekha unhone hume jab apni tirchi nazron se Hum to madhosh hi ho gaye,
Jab pata chala k nazrein hi tirchi hai, Hum to behosh hi ho gaye!
Funny Shayari discussed Engineer Woh Hai Jo…. on the Funny Shayari discussion board.
Funny Shayari discussed Jaane kyon log pyaar karte hain… on the Funny Shayari discussion board.
Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
“Aur bhi bahut si cheeze lut chu-ki hai dil ke saath
Ye bataya dosto ne ishq farmane ke baad
Is liye kamray ki ek ek cheez “check” karta hoon main
“Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaa-ne ke baad”
Majnu ko laila ka sms nahi aaya,
majnu ne teen din tak Khana nahi khaya,
majnu marne wala hai laila ke pyar mein,
laila baithi hai sms free hone ke intazar mein.
Har samundar mein saahil nahin hota
Har jahaaz mein missile nahin hota
Agar Dhirubhai Ambani nahin hota
To har gadhe ke paas mobile nahin hota…
What happens to a
Chartered accountant
Mainmatric mein
Tha wo matric mein
Thi
Main inter mein tha
Wo inter mein thi
Main c.a mein aa gya
Wo b.a mein thi
Main c.a mein tha
Wo master mein thi
Main c.a mein tha
Wo phd mein thi
Main c.a mein tha
Us ne doctorate kr lia
Aaj us i shaadi hy aur
Main c.a mein hi hoon ...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1 ladka apne gf k liye chudiya lekar jata he!
Gf- khud hi pehnado
Boy- mujhe kya pta tha itna acha response milega varna me kapde lekar ata
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Life while doing m.b.b.s
1sr yr: yahoo i'm in medical college
2nd yr: kahan phans gaya? Help me
3rd yd: severe migraine, sometimes pagalpan bhi
4th yr: aah soon it'll b over
5th yr: finaly it'll b over
Job : i love myself
W8 a min !
Something is missing
Ohhh !!! Meri jawani :(
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa apni maa se pitne ke bad ghar ke bahar baitha tha
Baap-kya huwa
Santa-papa,tumhari biwi ke sath ab mera guzara nahi ho sakta
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Guest host se- main khana kha raha hoon par ye kutta mujhe kyun dekh raha hai?
Host- ye kutta apni plate achhi tarah pehchanata hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ladkiwale hamko ladka pasand hai shadi kab krni hai? Ladkewale abhi to ladka study kar raha hai, ladkiwale hamari ladki koun si bandariy h jo kitab faad degi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Vodka+water=injurs kidney
Rum+water=injurs liver
Whisky+water=injurs heart
Gin+water=injurs brain
Lagta hai saala pani mein hi kuch locha hai...:-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa g school mein 1 white aur 1 black shoes pehan kar chaly gay principal ne santa g ko bolaya or kaha ghar ja k shoes chang kar k ao santa g boly koi faeeda nahi sir ghar mein b 1 white or 1 black hi ha
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Train me santa ne apna trunk upar samaan rakhne vali jagah par rakh diya. Neeche gujarati gujju baitha tha.
Gujarati gujju: apna samman kahi aur rakho, mere sirr pe gir jaega
Santa: koi baat nahi friend, iss me tutne vali koi cheez nahi hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Pathan: molvi sahab wazu k baghair namaz ho jati hai?
Movie: nahi hoti
Pathan: ho jati hai yara
Molvi: bhai, nahi hoti
Pathan: hojati hai, mene khud perh k dekhi hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Bikhari: 50 paise de do. Maine 3 din se khana nahin khaya hai.
Kanjoos: 10 rupaye dunga, pahele ye bata 50 paise mein khana kahan milta hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Dr: aapko brain tumer hai
Pataint: oh great news(khush khabari)
Dr: aap itne khush kaise hai ?
Pataint:isase yah saabit hota hao ki mere paas dimag to hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa train ka driver ban gya,pehli hi baar train 8 ghante late ho gye, kyuki har phatak per train rok kr pushta hai ki 22g abohar nu eh line jandi hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Munna bhai: aay circuit, baapu bole toh gandhi ji kapde kyu nahi pehantay thay?
Circuit: bhai bole toh bapu bhi us time ke salmaan khan thay!!!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Patient: dr bahut patli aa rahi hai.
Dr: kitni patli
Patient: bahut patli
Dr: kitni patli
Patient : itni patli ki sms padnewala kulli kar le
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Musharraf jb mein paida hua to 60 topen chali thi..
Santa- kamal hai! Sabka nishana chook gaya?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Girl-mujhe ek aisa husbend chahiye jo achi achi baten kre hansi mazaq kre or raton ko muje songs sunaye
Sam-tussi husbend chaddlo fm radio le lo
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Dev das ne paro ke ghar ke samne susu kar dia.
Paro ne pucha:ye tumne kya kiya
Dev bola:gum itna jyada tha ki aansu ne apna rasta badal diya
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
A hindi man goes to the ashram of desi baba ji and says: i can't concentrate on puja (prayer). Tell me some way.
Baba ji: send that girl puja to me, i will try to concentrate on her.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Phonebook dilemma
Why are there no phone books in china?
Becoz there r so many wing's nd wong's,
They are afraid you'll wing the wong number.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Tumhare brain ki x-ray report aa gayi hai.
10g mitti 10g kankar-pathar 25 type k kidi-mkode,5g makdi k jale n 500g bhusa.
Kamal hai...!
Mujhe laga khali hoga..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Munna : yaar circuit ,ye gandhiji har note me haste kuy rehte hai?
Circuit:simple hai bhai! Royenge to note gila ho jaye ga......
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa: main ek baar jungle mein susu karne gaya toh waha per sher tha.
Banta: phir kya hua?
Santa: maine sher se kaha, pehle tum karlo, mera toh ho gaya hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Two married friends rahul and rohan talking on the topic of the married woman,
Rahul: wife ko begum kyun kehte hai?
Rohan: kyuki shaadi ke baad uske saare gum husband ke hisse mein chale jaate hai aur wife begum ho jaati hai?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1 pathan ne jali note banaya orr quaid-e-azam ki topi bhol gaya
Jab dukandar ko dia tou dukandar ne kaha:
Iski tou topi nahi hay.
Pathan bola:
Ye quaid-e-azam lala ki garmion ki tasveer hay...=p;->
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ipl junoon-
Wife tv par match dekh rahi thi.
Husband smart ban ke aaayaa aur bola-
'Darling mekesa lag raha hu?'
Tabhi wife zorse chillay
Chakka!!!!!!!!!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Son: mom,papa bahut sharif he
Mom: wo kaise beta
Son: papa jab bhi kisi ladkiko dekhte he
To apni ek aankh
Bandh kar lete he
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Reporter ne 1 zakhmi se pucha jab bomb gira....
"kya wo phat gya tha?"
Zakhmi gusse se:"nahi..!Wo raing kar mere paas aaya aur pyar se bola
"thaaa"
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Janwaro ki party m chuha char peg lagakr set tha
Billi -- agar aaj party na hoti to mai tujhe kha jati
Chuha-- ja chali ja nhi to log khenge ki daru p kar janani koot di ..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa:yaar tune apni biwi ko talak kyu diya?
Sardar:yaar wo badi character less thi.shaadi mujhse ki aur baccha bhagwan se mangti thi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Mungerilal ko 20 saal baad bachha hua!
Wo udaas ho gaya!
Naurangilal- yaar udaas kyun hai?
Mungerilal- yaar! 20 saal baad bachha hua wo bhi itna sa??
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Gang of santa-banta broke a bank, but instead of cash they find
Bottles of chilled red wine...
Happily they drink and left
Next day headline
~ braking news ~
"blood bank robbed"
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when i was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that's not prohibited
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
2000 me bache padhte the
A 4 apple
B 4 banana
C 4 cat
D 4 dog
2009 me padte hai-
A 4 aata
B 4 bijli
C 4 cheeni
D 4 dhamake
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Film director to actor: tum ko 100 feet ki height se swimming pool me jump lagana hai.
Actor: par mere ko tairna nahi aata, mein doob jaunga.
Film director: don't worry, pool me paani nahi hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Banta: pareshan lag rahe ho.
Santa: yaar baap ban ne wala hu.
Banta: yeh to khushi ki baat hai.
Santa: lekin biwi ko nahi pata.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Sardar sharab peeta ro raha tha.
Sharab wala : kyon ro rahe ho?
Sardar : aur kiya karon? Main jis larki ka naam bhulana chata hoon. Us ka naam yaad he nahi aa raha.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ye badalti ratein, ye doobtay arman
Ye jaltay diye, ye bujhti shamaein
Ye kuch or nahi hai faraz?.
? sirf k.e.s.c ka kamina pan hai
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Raaz ko plate nai mili
To apni jeb me khana dalne laga
Faraz-ye kya
Raaz-dag to chala jyega
Ye waqt phir nai ayega
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Heights of laziness:
Boy: mom 1glaas pani dedo
Mom:khud lelo
Beta:pls dedo
Mom:ab manga toh thappad dungi
Beta:jab thappad dene aaogi toh pani lete aana.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Raat ke 2 baje ek admi bahu ke kamre
Se nikla aur chala gaya.
Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na boli
Kyu?
Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Snta-aaj pitaji ne pitai kar di
Bnta-kyu
Snta-maine to sirf itna pucha tha ki
"kamine..
Film dekhne chal rahe ho kya..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Wah re khuda tery khudai
Kisi ko 1 nhi
Kisi ko 2,2 lugai
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Girlfrnd: chand kitny hoty hain?
Boyfrnd: 2, 1 tum or 1 wo oper
After meriage
Wife: chand kitne hoty hain?
Husband: anni diye,
Nazr nai anda
1 e honda aa..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Gabber: aaj maine basanti ko nahate hue dekha!
Viru: kutte, kamine main tera khun pi jaunga.
Gabber: haramkhor, me naha raha tha or bansanti ja rahi thi !!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Techr to raaz-batao india ka jhanda sab se pehle kaha lehraya gya..?
Raaz-(sochne ke baad)
Hawa me
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek bar 300 pathan ship main travel kar rahe tahe,
Lekin sare k sare mar gaye.
Kaise?
Nothing serious.
Ship bich main kharab hogai.
To dhakka dene niche utar gaye.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1 admi apni biwi se bola-raja dashrath ki 3 raniya thi.is hisab se main 2 shadian or kr sakta hu.biwi-bas itna yad rakhna k dropdi k 5 pati bhi they.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Saas: bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathar nahi nikal sakti kya.
Bahu: very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathar bhi nahi chaba sakti ?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1 pathan chilkay sameat kela kha raha tha,
Kisi ne us ko toka,
Is ko cheel to lo.
Pathan bola : chelne ka kia zarorat he humko malum he is k andr kia he.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Wife:raat ko ghar me chor aaya or mujhe kiss karke chala gaya.
Pati- tumne roka nahi?
Wife- bhut kaha tha rukne ke liye, bola fir aaonga.....
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa and banta went to steal in ram,s house at night when he is sleeping
Santa drops a plate
Ram :kaun hai?
Santa: meow
Banta drops a plate
Ram : kaun hai?
Banta : ek aur billi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa went to see a girl for marriage
Girls parents decided to let them be alone to talk
Santa: behanji aap kitne bhai-behan ho?
Girl: pehle 3 the ab 4 ho gaye
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek aadmi university k chokidaar se:
Ye university kaisi hai..?
Chokidaar:
Zabardast...!
Mainey m.b.a yahin kiya
Aur
Foran nokri be mil gayi..! ;->
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa road se gujar raha tha.
Usne road se kuch uthaya aur chillaya.
Haramjade log tatti bhi aise karte hai jaise
Samosa pada ho.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Srk ko audition mein ek ladki ne bhaiya kaha aur wo ladki film ke liye select ho gayi secrtry ne pucha apno usko select kyon kiya srk ne kaha pehli baar to kisi ne bhai kaha hai
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Husband:rat ko mene 1 horror movie dekhi, 1 chudeil kabhi mere age
Kabhi piche aur kabhi sath chal rahi thi,
Wife:kaun si movie thi?
Husband:apni shadi ki
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Science teacher: agar kisi ladki ko mirgi ka attack ho to use lambe time tak kiss karo iss se wo thik ho jayegi.
Student:ppar sir us ko attack kaise dilaya jaye
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Lalu-rabri tum meri chand ho.
Rabri-ye ji ...humko chand-vand mat kahiye sasura america bale daily chadhte hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Dada-beta andar se mere daant lana
Pota-par dadu abi roti nhi bani hai
Dada-oy roti ko mar goli yar samnewali buddhi ko smile deni hai..!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek taxi driver buhat taiz drive kr raha tha,
Peechay bethay huay sahib bolay:"o" bhai ahista taxi chalao main 12 bachoon ka baap hoon.
Driver:apni speed dekhi hai?jo meri speed per aitraaz kr rahay ho.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa won loottery worth rs.20cr.......
Dealer gave him 11cr after deductinjg tax ....
Santa : oye dealer ... Ya muje pure 20cr dede ya to mere 20rs vapas kar de ....
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Chintoo : aaj maine apni class mein sabse pyaari larki ko phansa li..
Friend : woh kaisey?
Chintoo : class lagi thi.. Maine kaghaz ka jahaz bana ke phainka. Jahaza teacher ke pass chala gaya. Uss ne ghusey se poocha yeh kiss ne phainka? Maine us larki ka naam le liya aur who phans gaye bichari
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek family shole dekhne aai pati patni ae romanticly bola, naach basanti naach
Tabhi bacha chilaya- mummy is kutte ke samane mat nachna.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
A muslim couple came out of court after divorce,
Husband - ab humare beech koyi rishta nahi,
Wife - aisaa mat bolo,
Hum ab bhi, mausere bhaai behan to hai...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Snta ko elecrtic chair p bitha k maut ki saza
Sunai gai
Jalad-aakhri khuahish kya hai?
Snta-mujhe dar lag raha hai mera hath pakad le
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ki taang me gehra cut lag gya
Nurse-is me 10 tanke lgenge
S-kitna kharcha hoga?
Nurse-3000
S-tanka lagwana he
Karhai nai karwani
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Sir:bijli kaha se aati hai?banta: mama k ghar se.sir:wo kaise?bnta: kyuki jab b bijli jati hai papa kahte hai saalo ne fir kaat di!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Aurate 3type ki hoti h
1.jiske bina aap reh nhi skte
2.jo apke bina reh nhi skti
3.jiske sath ap rehte ho
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa : cheel ko english main kya kehte hain.
Banta : eagle
Santa : agar cheel bimar ho jaye to?
Banta : illeagal...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Kabhi wafa se pyaar mt krna
Q mt karna ? Maare jaoge
Q maare jaoge ?
Qki wafa osama ki .bati ka naam hai....
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa to guest: thanda piyoge ya garam
Guest: dono le aao
Santa: 1 glass freezer se aur 1 glass geyser se pani ka le aao
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Jyotishi :santa ka hath dekhar-
Beta tum bahut padoge
Santa:saale pad to main teen saal se raha ,yeh bata ki pass kab hunga
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ki chatri me hole tha, kisine pucha, umbrella mein hole kyu?
Sardar bola: oye barish ruk jayegi to pata kaise chalega.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa: tumnay new car kb li?
Banta: ek din ek larki mujhey apni car mai bhita kar lay gai, aur
Kapray utar kar boli jo chahiye lay lo, maine car lay li
Santa: changa keeta kapray ki karnay siiiiii (well done, what you will do with cloths!)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa: doctor, aapko taanke lagane aate hai.
Doc: haa aate hai,kaha lagane hai?
Santa: ye lo meri chappal pe laga do.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Doc.-operation dobara karna padega
Q..k rubber k gloves
Tere andar hi reh gye he
Patient-muje jane do
Mai tumhare gloves ki payment kr dunga
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa and banta went for a drive.
Santa: hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
Banta puts his head out & says yes-no, yes-no, yes-no, yes-no!!!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Dr:jab apko pta tha chipkali apke kaan me ghus rahi hai to aap chup q the?
Santa:pahle cockroach gaya tha to muje laga ki chipkali use pakdne ja rhi thi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Gabbr --- o murgi tujhe 2 ande dene ko kaha tha tune 1 q diya ..tujhe mujhse dar nhi lagta ????
Murgi -- dar ki vajh se hi to 1 anda diya hai sakar .......warna mai to murga hu ...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Unse pyar karke kismat jaag gayi; wah-waah-
Unse pyar karke kismat jaag gayi; wah waah-!
Itne love letter post kiye ki woh postman ke saath bhag gayi...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Husband:hypnotize karna kisay kehtay hain???
Wife:kisi ko apnay control main kar k us say apni marzi k kaam karwanay ko kehtay hain,
Husband:chal jhooti usay tou shaadi kehtay hain
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa- agar nariyal k ped pe chhad jaun to engineering college ki ladkiyan dikh jaayengi??
Banta- zaroor!! Aur haath chhod dega to medical college ki bhi dikh jaayengi.. ;-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Patni- jante ho maine 20 somwar ke upwas kiye tab jakar tumhein paya hai. Pati- ye sab nahi karti to kya hota. Patni- tumse bhi koi gaya guzara milta
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Bhikhari ne fon kia - hello taj hotel,
Ha ji
1 pizza
1 biryani
1 rasmalai bhej do
Taj - kiske nam se bheju sir,
Bhikari - allah k nam pe bhej do...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Boyz sng:
Kaise bataye kyon girls ko chahe..
Yaara bata na paye..
Padhai jo college ki,
Dekho jo baki,
Complete to kar na paye..
Tu jaane na.....
!^.^!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Banta selling parashut : plane se kudo, button dabao, aur aap zamin pe safely land!
Custmer : agar parashut na khula to?
Banta : o g paise wapas.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Husband: kal mere khawab main ek larki aye thi.
Wah! Kia larki thee!
Wife: akeli ayee hogi?
Husband: tum ko kese pata?
Wife: uska husband mere khawab main aya tha!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek 10 saal ka bachha bahot dhyan se ek book pad raha tha, jiska title tha: kids ka paalan poshan kaise kare .
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Raaz-mere paas 2-2 mobile he
Camera he
Memory card he
Vodafone ka sim he
Tere pas kya hai?
Mai bola
Mere mobile me balance he
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Sherni ke ghar waalo ne haathi ka rishta kyon
Nahi liya?? Socho??
Thoda sa aur socho?socho. ..socho.. .
Yaar unke ghar ka aapsi maamla hai,
Tumko kya lena dena hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa:aisi jindagi se to maut achhi.
Achanak yamdut ayaaur bola:tumari jan lene ka hukam he.
Santa:lo batoa aab insan majak bhi nahi kare..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Kbc me amitabh- wat's ur father's name??
Santa- [kuch bola nahi]
Amitabh- jawaab dijiye!
Santa- sir option to dijiye!! ;-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Pujari ji ko dast lag gaye, wo doctor k pas dawa lene gaye dr. Ne dawa di to pujari ne puchha parhej kya karu? Dr bola bas shankh jor se mat bajana....
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Teacher:aasman me udne wali cheez ande deti hai, zameen pe rehne wali bache deti hai. Kaun hai joaasman me udti hai par bachche zameen par deti hai? Chintu:airhostess!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Banta ki maa- puttar tujhay yahan se jalindhar janay mein 1 din laga
Aur wapas aanay mein 3 din wo b naye car se?
Banta : maa ye car bananay wale bhi pagal hein janay k liay 4 gear
Or aanay ke liay sirf 1 (reverse) gear.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Raaz-aj bv ne bahut mara
Faraz-kyu?
Raaz-i was kissing katrena
Faraz- wow katrena kaif?
Raaz-nhi yar meri nokrani katrena
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ik aadmi thand lagne se kamp raha tha. Uska chhore ne doctor ko phone kiya.
Doctor: kya hua?
Chhora: bimari ka to pata nahin par bapu subha se vibration mode pe laga hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Vo kaun sa dept h jahan aurte kam nahi kar sakti?
Santa fire bregade.
Banta vo kyon??
Santa kyonki aurto ka kam to aag lagana hota hai.
Aag bhughana nahi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Pappu-papa mujhe baja dila do
Raaz-nahi tum sab ko tang karoge
Pappu-nahi papa kasam se jub so jayenge tab mai bajaunga
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Boy to girl-: aaj tumne belt gutne par kyon bandhi hai. Girl maine mummy se promise kiya hai ki tumhe belt se niche touch nahi karne dungi.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Duniya ki her kali 1 din phool ban jati hai,
Lekin wo konsi kali hai jo kabhi b phool nahi banti?
.
.
chip-kali
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek ladka achanak ladki ko dekh ke bola- lafz tere geet mere! Gazal koi sunaun kya kya??
Ladki- haath mere gaal tere! Kaan ke neeche bajaun kya???
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Satsang main baba ramdev bole aaj ki auratein itne jaleel kapre pehnati hain k sb nazar aata hai-unki shameez nazar aati hai,unki taange nazar aati hain, unka jism nazar aata hai, khula ang-pardarshan hota hai....
Peeche se awaz aayi,"baba g aap parvachan do..mood mat banao!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Girlfriend - darling mera mobile recharge karwa do
Boyfriend - darling main tera aashiq hun airtel walo ka jawai nhein.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Teacher: tum school kyu aate ho? Nikhil: vidhya ke liye sir. Teacher: phir tum soo kyu rahe ho? Student: aaj vidya nahi aayi hai isliye.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Snata ne call milayi to aage se aawaz aayi .... Aaapke khate me is call k liye bkaya rashi nai hai ....
Snta : o koi ni9 soniye tere baat ho gyi ye kya kam hai ?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Husband & wife 2no ghumne gaye, raste me 1 gadha ghas kha raha tha.
Wife: dekhoji apke rishtedaar! Namaste boliye.
Husbund: namasthe sasurji!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Girl- tumne mujh pe kya dekha ki mujhse pyar karne lage
Boy- abhi kaha dekha hai maine sab kuchh dekhne ke liye hi to pyar kiya hai
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Naukrani ne malkin se kaha, memsahab gajab ho gaya, pados ki teen auraten aap ki saas ko peet rahi hai.
Malkin naukrani ke saath balakani se aayi aur chupchap tamasha dekhne lagi.
Naukarani ne poocha, aap madad karne nahi jayengi?
Malkin: nahi uske liye teen hi kaafi hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa: aaj mere parrosiyon ka bacha gum ho gya..
Friend: phir tum ne kya kiya?
Santa: maine un se kaha 'google' pr search kar lo.. ;-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek behra dusre se: nahane ja rahe ho?
Dusra behra: nahi, nahane ja raha hun.
Pehla: acha, mujhe laga nahane ja rahe ho...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
American: hamare desh me war
Hogaya.
Santa: hamare india me tho roz war
Hotha hai!
American: o kaise?
Santa: somwar. Mangalwar. Budhwar.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Dosto aaj hum ek ajeeb pranee ke bareme padhenge....is jeev ka naam hai wife.ye aksar ghar mai payi jaati hai.inka paushtik ahaar pati ka bheja hota hai,inse tension naam ki bimari ho sakti hai.savdhan!!
From-pati bachao samiti
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
An elephant meets an ant.
Ant: tumhari umer kitni hai?
Elephant: 5 saal.
Ant: 5 saal aur itne barrey.
Elephant: main needo jo peeta hoon.
Elephant: tumhari umer kitni hai?
Ant: 30 saal.
Elephant: 30 saal aur itni chhoti?
.
.
Ant: i use lux, meri khoobsurti se umer ka pata he nahi chalta?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa tv showroom me jate hai.
Santa: kya aapke pas color tv hai?
Salesman: yes sir.
Santa: ik green wala dena.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Larki mandir me-hai bhagwan
Kisi samajhdar aadmi se meri shadi karwa do
Bhagwan-ghar chali ja beti
Samajhdar aadmi kabi shadi hi nahi krte
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Hindi teacher asks-kaal kitne prakar ke hote hai?
Santa -7 prakar k
Local kaal, std kaal, isd kaal, missed kaal,receivd kaal, dialled kaal and sasriy kaal,
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ne aag mai jalte hue makaan se 7 logo ko baahar nikla lakin ab wo jail me hai kyun ?
Kunki sabi 7 log firemen they.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Wife:suna hay kay jannat mein husband kay sath wife ko naheen rehnay dete husband:theek suna hai.wife:aisa kyoun?husband:aray pagli isi liay tu usay jannat kehte hein.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1ladkey ko life me kya chahiye??
1ladki jo use dil se pyar kare
1ladki jo usko khush rakhe
1ladki jo use hasati rahe
Or tino ladkiyn kabhi 1dusre se na mile.:
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Friend said to me:
Mere paas ghar hai,
Car hai,
Computer hai,
2,2 mobile phones hain.
Tere paas kya hai?
Maine kaha:
Mere paas.
.
.
.
.
Cheeni hai. :-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Hathi aur chenti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli wah re mohabbat
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ped k upar ulta latka huya tha.
Bamta- tu ped par kyo latka hai.
Santa- sar dard ki goli khayi thi, kahi pet me na chali jaye, isliye
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Man was sitting w/ his wife in a bar.
Another lady came 2 his wife & said!
"paise pehle le lena,ye aadmi baad me lafda karta
Hai !!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek admi pathan ko mar raha tha. Logon ne poocha k kyon mar rahay ho?
Wo bola: sala ek ghantay se pooch raha hai? ramzan ki jhandiyan kahan se milengi?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Q-insan apni bewqufi par kab khush hota hai..?
Socho..
Socho..
Apni shadi ke din yaar
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Teacher asked to student wht is your cast?
Stu:- pehle to hum sharma thay ,fir rajput thay. Fir baniy ho gaye , abhi hah darzi, aage mummy ki marzi.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Wife saw sign board
Banarasi sari 10/-
Nylon sari 8/-
Coton sari 5/-
Wife:give me rs.500 i'll buy
Hsbnd:andhi,ye istri ki dukan hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa-time kya hua h?
Banta: 2
S-apki ghadi radio se mili h?
B-ji nhi sasural se
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Saali to jija:
Kya kr rhy ho?
Jija:
Makhiyan mar rha hon
Saali:
Kitni mari?
Jija:
3 male or 2 female
Saali:
Kse malom?
Jija:
3 shrab ki botle se chipki hui thi or 2 phone se
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1 class ka bacha apni miss se kehta hai.
Mai aap ko kaisa lagta hoon?
Miss: so sweet!
Bacha: to phir mai apne ammi abbu ko aap k ghar kab bhejun.
Miss: wo kyon?
Bacha: ta'kay wo hamari baat agay chalayen,
Miss: ye kya bakwaas hai!
Bacha: tution parhne k liye..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Marwadi donates blood to arab.
Arab gifts him ferrari!
Marwadi donates again.
He gets only 1rs..
Marwadi- why??
Arab- ab meri ragon me tera khoon daudta hai!! ;-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa platfrom k side leta tha
Banta-kya kar rahe ho?
Santa-sucite
Banta-to beach me leto
Santa-dar lagta he...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Patient:-doctor mujhe beemari hae khana na khau to bhuk lag jaati hae,jyada kaam karta hu to thakan lag jaati hae,der tak utha rahu to need aa jaati hae.kya karu?
Doctor:-raat bhar dhoop mae bhete raho sahi ho jaoge.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1ladkey ko life me kya chahiye??
1ladki jo use dil se pyar kare
1ladki jo usko khush rakhe
1ladki jo use hasati rahe
Or tino ladkiyn kabhi 1dusre se na mile.:
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Friend said to me:
Mere paas ghar hai,
Car hai,
Computer hai,
2,2 mobile phones hain.
Tere paas kya hai?
Maine kaha:
Mere paas.
.
.
.
.
Cheeni hai. :-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Hathi aur chenti ka prem vivah hua,
Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
Cheenti boli wah re mohabbat
Ek din ka pyar mila,
Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ped k upar ulta latka huya tha.
Bamta- tu ped par kyo latka hai.
Santa- sar dard ki goli khayi thi, kahi pet me na chali jaye, isliye
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Man was sitting w/ his wife in a bar.
Another lady came 2 his wife & said!
"paise pehle le lena,ye aadmi baad me lafda karta
Hai !!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek admi pathan ko mar raha tha. Logon ne poocha k kyon mar rahay ho?
Wo bola: sala ek ghantay se pooch raha hai? ramzan ki jhandiyan kahan se milengi?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Q-insan apni bewqufi par kab khush hota hai..?
Socho..
Socho..
Apni shadi ke din yaar
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Teacher asked to student wht is your cast?
Stu:- pehle to hum sharma thay ,fir rajput thay. Fir baniy ho gaye , abhi hah darzi, aage mummy ki marzi.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Wife saw sign board
Banarasi sari 10/-
Nylon sari 8/-
Coton sari 5/-
Wife:give me rs.500 i'll buy
Hsbnd:andhi,ye istri ki dukan hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa-time kya hua h?
Banta: 2
S-apki ghadi radio se mili h?
B-ji nhi sasural se
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Saali to jija:
Kya kr rhy ho?
Jija:
Makhiyan mar rha hon
Saali:
Kitni mari?
Jija:
3 male or 2 female
Saali:
Kse malom?
Jija:
3 shrab ki botle se chipki hui thi or 2 phone se
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1 class ka bacha apni miss se kehta hai.
Mai aap ko kaisa lagta hoon?
Miss: so sweet!
Bacha: to phir mai apne ammi abbu ko aap k ghar kab bhejun.
Miss: wo kyon?
Bacha: ta'kay wo hamari baat agay chalayen,
Miss: ye kya bakwaas hai!
Bacha: tution parhne k liye..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Marwadi donates blood to arab.
Arab gifts him ferrari!
Marwadi donates again.
He gets only 1rs..
Marwadi- why??
Arab- ab meri ragon me tera khoon daudta hai!! ;-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa platfrom k side leta tha
Banta-kya kar rahe ho?
Santa-sucite
Banta-to beach me leto
Santa-dar lagta he...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Patient:-doctor mujhe beemari hae khana na khau to bhuk lag jaati hae,jyada kaam karta hu to thakan lag jaati hae,der tak utha rahu to need aa jaati hae.kya karu?
Doctor:-raat bhar dhoop mae bhete raho sahi ho jaoge.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Raaz-dr.meri biwi ne petrol pi liya he
Or bhag rahi he
Dr-tension mat lo
Jub
Petrol khatam ho jayega to wo aa jayegi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Gadhe ke samne 1 paani ki & 1 daru ki balti rakhi'
Gadha paani pi gaya.
Police ne sharabi se pucha- tune is se kya sikha???
Sharabi- jo daaru nahi pita vo gadha hai...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Cutest question of d week !
Kid: mom kya aapne mujhe paida hone se pehle dekha tha?
Mom: nahi to!
Kid: to phir paida hone k baad aapne mujhe pehchana kaise?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Madam=tum bahut badtameez ho gaye ho,main tumhe kya szaa du ? Kid=wo ldki jo 2nd banch pe baithi hai, mujhe uske saath bathroom mein bnd kr do..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Baap, bete se tum barey ho k kya bano ge
Beta! Abu me jangi jahaz ka poilet banu ga
Baap, lekin hame kaise pata chaley ga
K tum kon sa jahaz urah rahey ho
Beta! Abu jab me apne gaon ke uper se
Guzrun ga to bomb giraa dun ga,
Aap foran samj jaiye ga ke ye hamara beta hai
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Sheikh ka 1 rupiya chatt se gir gaya,
Sheikh neeche pohncha to rupiya nahe mila
Kion??
Sheikh rupiay se pehley pohnch gaya tha!:-
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ki 10 betiya thi phir ja
Kar uske ghar ek beta hua.
Santa ne uska naam kya rakha hoga?
Mushkil singh. !
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ki wife inspecter se!
Mera husband ek hafte pehle aaloo lene gaya tha abhi tak wapis nahi aaye:-(
Inspector banta bola:- to behan kuch or paka lo
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Munna bhi: ye doctor log operation karte samay patiant ko sula kyon dete hai?
Circuit: bole to patiant khud operation karna sikh nale eslia bhia
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Husband:aaj sunday hai,aur me puri tarah se njoy karna chahta hu,esliya picture ke 3 ticket laya hu.
Wife:3 ticket kuy.
H:1 4 u
& 2 4 ur parents.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa: kela kitne ka hay?
Kelay wala: 1 rupay ka ek.
Santa ji: kela 60 paisay ka do gay?
Kelay wala: 60 paisay ka kelay ka chilka milay ga.
Santa ji: ok! Ye lay 40 paise
Kela mujhe day chilka to rakh.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ustaad pathan se pakistan k kitny soobay hay?
Pathan (4)
Ustaad sahabash un k naam batao pathan: mashrik, maghrib, shumal, junoob.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Boy:panditji,meri shadi kyu nahi ho rahi hai?
Pandit:beta,bhagwan ne tere bhagya me dukh nahi likhe to isme mai kya kar sakta hu.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
In park, a boy & girl were sitting!
2 dogs kissed each other..
Boy- jaanu agar tum bura na mano, to main bhi..
Girl- ok! Par sambhalkar! Kutta kaat lega.. ;-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek beautiful girl profesor se "mai exam me pass hone k liye kuchh bhi kar sakti hu"..
Prof- kuch bhi
G.-ya
Prof-kuch bhi
Gr- ya
Prof-" to padh le beti..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ki amma mar gayi-
1admi bola
Amma mujhe b lejati
2-4 or bole:amma hme b le jati.
Santa:chup hojao
Kuto
Amma kya
Tata-sumo krke
Gyi hai...?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
O mere makhna
Meno yaad rakhna
Har vely hasna,
Koe problem howy ty dasna,
Kise hor nal na phasna,
Bus mere nal vasna
O mere makhna
Kaisa hy ye sms zaror dasna
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Mother: tum yeh book kyon pad rahe ho.
Kid: main yeh dekhna chahta hoon ke mera paalan poshan theek tara se ho raha hai ya nahi.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Boy: tujhko kya bhejon?
Barish ki pehli boond?
Aasman ka sab se roshan tara?
Shakh pe khila surkh gulab?
Muthi main qaid ik jugnu?
Honton pe saji ek khuahish?
Ya
Aankhon ka ik khuaab?
Girl: mujhe bas 5 kilo cheeni bhejdo. :-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa jub b wash room jata to darwaza khol ke jata
Banta-aisa kyu
Santa-muje shak he ke darwaze ke niche wale
Surakh se mujhe koi dekhta he
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Akbar: kal maine sapna dekha k tum gobar me gir gaye aur mein shehad (honey) me!birbal: ji maharaj! Fir mai apko chatne lga aur aap mujhe!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa-agar mere hath me sarkar ho to
Me desh ki taqdir badel dunga.
Wife-tum pehle apna pajama tobadal lo subha
Se ulta pehn rakha hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Boy friend:darling,i love u.
Girlfriend:kutte ke bache....
Boyfriend:kya!
Girlfriend:kitne cute hote hain na.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Sardar 1- train me yaar raat bhar neend nahi aayi.. Upar ki seat mili thi!
Sardar 2- to exchange karna tha!
Sardar 1- kisse karta? Neeche ki seat pe koi nahi tha.. ;-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Wife-aap bahut mote ho gaye ho
Husband-tum be to kitni moti ho gayi ho
Wife-me to maa ban ne wali hu
Husband-me be to baap ban ne wala hu
5 days, 23 hours ago by via web
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ka dhaba !
Customer: mere soup me makhi doob kar mari padi hai.
Santa: to kya karu, dhaba chalau ya inhe tairna sikhau
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1 admi ka inteqal ho gya.
Uska dost us ki bv k paas aaya or bola:
Kya main us ki jagah le sakta hoon?
Bv:mujhe koi etraz nahi
Qabrastan walon se pooch lo..=p;->
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Snta ki chappal chori ho gyi
Wo qabristan paucha or waha baith k kehne laga
Chor ko kaha dhundne jaye ek na 1 din to yaha ayega hi..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa- ladki fasani aati hai
Banta- nahi aati
Santa- pehle kagaj ka jahaj bana phir use class room me udha de jab madam puche to ladki ka nam laga de ---bas ladki fas gai
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa angoor bech rha tha magar keh rha tha
"aalu le lo aalu"
Banta: ye to angoor he
Santa: chup ho ja warna makkhiya sun legi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Marriage is like a public toilet
Those waiting outside are desperate to get in
&
Those inside are desperate to come out..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Shadi k dosre din beti apni maa se:
Aj meri unse laraei hogai,
Maa:
Beta shadi me jhagry tu hotay rehty hen.
Beti:
Wo tu thek hy par ab laash ka kya karen??...
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Susti ki intiha,
Boy:papa ek glass paani ka de do
Papa:khud le lo
Boy:plz de do naa
Papa:ab manga tou thappar maronga
Boy:thappar marnay ao tou paani lete aana
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Doctor: aap ka weight kitna ha?
Johnny: chasme(opticals) ke saath 75kg.
Doctor. Aur chasme ke bagir?
Johnny: vo mujhe dikhta hi nahi.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Vajpeyi: retire ho gya hu,ji chahta hai ab to shadi kr lu?
Adwani:karlo?
Vajpeyi: kisi vidhwa se kr lu
Adwani:kunwari se hi kar lo
Widhwa to apne aap ho jaegi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa-yaar meri door ki nazar kharab hai,
Chashma lena padega
Banta-wo kya chamak raha hai?
Santa-suraj
Banta-sale aur kitne dur dekhega
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Do aadmi
First: tere pita kya karte hai.?
Second: logon ko ashirvad dete hai.
First: kya bhagwan hai.,.,??
Second: nahi, bhikhari hai
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Abe dheere bol,
Yaha tk awaz aa rhi h
A beggar askd santa:
"i havn't tastd food all week.."
Santa: "dn't worry, it stil tastes d same.."
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa: raaz par jo musibat aayi hai
Uske bare me tumne suna kya?
Bnta-
Nahi to ki hoya?
Santa: are meri biwi uske sath bhag gai hai
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Driver: car sheshay ki bottle par char
Gai ur punture ho gae
Major rohail: tume sheshay ki bottle
Nazar nahi aai?
Driver: sab bottle ek admi ki jaib main thi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ek ladka ladki dekne gaya
Dono 10 minute tak bat karte rahe
Ladki - bhaiya aap kitne bhai-bahen ho?
Ladka:- abtak 3 the par ab 4 ho gaye
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa ji aapko kabhi kisise pyar hua hai
Santa-han,par woh manti hi nahin
Kya bolti hai?
Bolti hai i love u 2
Par yeh dusra kaun hai?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Bacha apne papa ke shadi ke video dekhtehue: papa mujhe bhi apne shadi me item girl nachwana hai.
Papa : abe ye tere bua hai item girl nahi.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Circuit : bhai jail ko hindi mey hawalat kyun kehte hai ?
Bhai: boley to jail mein khane ko hawa aur laat hi milte hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Santa: tu office mein toh bada sher bana ghumta hai, ghar par kya ho jata hai?
Banta: hota toh sher hi hoon par durga sawar ho jaati hai?
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Passenger:tumne mere jeb me haath kyu dala?
Santa: muje machis chahi thi
Passenger: tum muz se maag shakte the
Santa: mei ajnabi se baat nahi karta
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Girl: na chhod ladki ko paap hoga,
Kal tu bhi kisi bacchi ka baap hoga.
Boy: khuda kare teri baat sachchi ho,
Jo mujhe baap kahe woh teri bachchi ho.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Autowala to bunty : sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
Autowala : sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
Bunty : tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega!!!
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ye jo ladkiyo ke baal hote hai,
Ladko ko fasaane ke jaal hote hai,
Khoon choos leti hai ladko ka saara,
Tabhi to inke hoth laal hote hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Wife to husband:uttho raat ke 2 baje he,
Husband to wife:itni raat ko q uthaya
Wife to husband:aapne neend ki goli nahi li .
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Allama iqbal farmatay hain?
Ooper se sab dekh raha hon faraz ka haal iqbal,
Acha hi hua k mene koi asan shair nahi banaya
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Teacher pathan se: batao allama iqbal kaha peda huwe or unhone kaha taleem hasil ki?
Pathan : wo hospital men peda huwe or school men taleem hasil ki, ;-)
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Young and sexy girl goes to doctor with mom.
Girl - checkup krana hai.
Doctor - sare kapde utar ke wawhan let jao.
Girl - mera nahi, mummy ka krawna hai.
Doctor - mataji jeebh dikhao. :-)
~ Jokes SM
Santa:ek achi news hai or ek bad news
Banta:achi news
Santa:meri patni ka accident ho gaya
Banta:or bad news
Santa: wo ek sapna tha
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Tourist - is fort me koi bhoot he kya?
Guide - me yaha itne saalo se kaam kar raha hoon,
Aaj tak nahi dekha,
Tourist - kitne saal hue?
Guide - 300 saal......
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Boy-mai shadi nahi karunga
Dad-kyu?
Boy-q ki gaon wale meri mangetar ko taxi kehte hai
Dad-are beta karle..
Chota sa to gaon h
Kitni chali hogi
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Beta papa se: papa main itna bada kab ho jaunga ki mummy se bina poochey ghar se bahar ja sakoo.
Papa thandi saans lete hue: beta, itna bada toh abhi main bhi nahi hua hoon.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Wife:jab me gana gati
Hu to ap balcony me
Kyu chale jateho
Husbnd:taki muhalle
Wale ye na smjhe ki mai
Tumhara gala daba rha hu
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Kitne % bhartiyon ko lgta hy k salman khan
Katrina kaif se shadi krega?
Ans:10%
Bcoz
Rest of the 90% wnts to marry katrina kaif themself
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Husband wife se bola
Hata lo apne chehre se ye zulfe
E jane-e-tamanna
Khuda kasam agli baar khane me baal aya to
Sajni
Se
Ghajani
Bana
Dunga.....
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Husband:agar mere hatth me sarakar ho to mein desh ki taqdir badal dunga
Wife:tum pahle apna payjama badal lo subha se ulta pehna hua h
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Aik jagah b.a ki degree ki sale ho rahi thi,
Aik admi ghoray se utra bhaga hua gya or aik degree li or bola bhai aik or degree meray ghoray k liay bhi de do,
Saleman bola janab ye degree sirf gadhon k liay hai.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Ladka: ghire hue badlo mai teri yaad aati hai,
Sawan k aane se teri yaad aati hai,
Barish ke bundo mai teri yaad aati hai,
Ladki: haan haan janti hun mujhe teri chatri deni hai..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Gujju premi:darling mere kan me kuch halkasa kuch narmsa kuch namkin sa kuch mitha sa kaho premika:dhokla.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Sheru arpita se bola -
bhai aaj to chay pine ka maja aa gaya.
Arpita ne kaha- uncle ji, agar billi
Ne dudh me muh na mara hota to aur bhi maja aata.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
1 murgi market gai ek ande ki dukan pe aur kaha 1 anda dena.
Shopkeepar: ande ka kya krogi?
Murgi: mere pati ne kaha ke 2 rs ke liye tum apna figure kharab mat karo.
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Teachar- "agar batti" ka muhaavra banao
Santa-agar batti chali jaye to andhera ho jata hai..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Marez doc se
Mai 1 month se roz rs.50 ki dawa
Le rha hu pr koi faida n hua
Doc-ok mai kal se
Tumhe 40rs ki dawa duga
10rs ka faida hoga..
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
Thakur: theek hai, lele. Par 1 shart hai.
Vada kar?.
Roz ?potti? Dhone tu ayega. . . . . .
~ Hindi Jokes SMS Text Message
